What Would Your Naming Scheme Be?

"Wobbles the Mind" (wobblesthemind) 03/16/2016 at 21:56 • Filed to: Question

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Every company needs a way to relate their products to one another. Most of the time an arbitrary combination of letters and numerals are tossed together, forcing customers to become brand experts in order to communicate with the saleperson. As enthusiasts, we tend to gravitate towards vehicles using nouns that are related.

Everyone has some type of organizer, but if you had your own company, what would the naming scheme utilize? Give examples!

Ford gravitates towards “F” nouns for their four door models, “E” nouns that depict adventure for their crossovers, and animals for any model focused on being sporty.

Fiesta, Focus, Fusion, Five Hundred (replaced with Taurus because brand equity), Fairlane, etc.

Escape, Edge (of a cliff), Everest, Explorer, Expedition, Excursion, etc.

Mustang, Raptor (bird not dinosaur), Thunderbird, Falcon,

and so on.

Current Bugatti uses a driver whose name ends in “ron.”

Current Koenigsegg uses awesome Swedish words that end in “era.” Which is cool because all Eggs involve an “end of Era.”

Of course, there are exceptions and changes that will always occur. My opinions are a grain of salt in the Ocean.

As a Composer, I love music terms! I have no shame in admitting that part of the reason I started liking Kia was due to their use of musical terms. Examples would be Forte, Rondo, Cadenza and Quoris (Chorus).

Have fun and good night, Oppo!

My citroen won't start > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 22:00

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Probably alphanumerical. S for Sport. X for Cross. U for utility. P for Penis.

And numbers, lots of numbers according to engine size.

scoob > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 22:01

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Mine will all begin with hashtags.

TheHondaBro > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 22:04

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Greek alphabet. The further down it is, the larger it is.

Alpha would be like a small city runabout.

Steve in Manhattan > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 22:04

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I always thought Mercedes nomenclature made sense - 300D - 3 liter diesel. 300E - gasoline engine mit EINSPRITZEN! 450 SE - short wheelbase V8. 450SEL - lange - more legroom in the back. 600SEL? Far more car than you need, almost certainly.

TheHondaBro > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 22:05

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I love your questions.

The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 22:06

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Names of famous peopled that died of drug over doses.

The PS Hoffman coupe.

The W Houston sedan.

The A Winehouse van.

The B Mays truck.

The H Ledger wagon.

The E Presley hatchback.

The J Joplin panel van.

In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 22:06

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Or it’s SUV/Car line has anal in mind:

Anal Fusion, Anal Fiesta, Anal Taurus, Anal Expedition, Anal Flex, Anal Excursion, Anal Explorer, Anal Edge.

This is the only car company in which this works

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 03/16/2016 at 22:07

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And the Ford Probe?

scoob > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 03/16/2016 at 22:09

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Anal Charger, Anal Challenger, Anal Dart, Anal Viper, Anal Journey, Anal Grand Caravan, Anal Durango, Anal RAM

DasWauto > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 22:11

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scoob > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 03/16/2016 at 22:11

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Anal STI has to be the best.

Under_Score > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 22:11

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Cool picture of the 2008 Ford SUV lineup; I wish all manufacturers had pictures like this.

But for a crossover variant of a car, call it the “Cuvvy”. I’ve never heard that term used.

Wobbles the Mind > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 03/16/2016 at 22:12

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Anal Jetta, Anal Passat, Anal Phaeton, Anal Golf, Anal Golf R, Anal GTI, Anal Toureg, Anal Tiguan, Anal Routan

These all sound so much dirtier to me and I’m not sure why!

Anal Cruze, Anal Lancer, Anal Outback, I think you underestimate the imagination of Oppo and the power of Anal.

Wobbles the Mind > My citroen won't start 03/16/2016 at 22:14

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Read P as “Prius.” Relieved when it was “penis.”

Just like prom night, amiright?!

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 22:14

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For sure mythology.

DasWauto > Steve in Manhattan 03/16/2016 at 22:15

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Like BMW’s, Mercedes’ naming scheme used to be logical but isn’t anymore and has just devolved to bigger numbers = better as they refuse to reduce the numerical nomenclature with engine displacement.

not for canada - australian in disguise > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 22:15

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Numbers ending in 50 for cars (150, 350, 550, 750), crossovers and minivans ending in X (150X, 350X, 550X, 750X), T for trucks (T10, T20, T30), V for vans (T10V, T20V, T30V), and the big body on frame SUVs would be named after places in Northern Canada and Alaska (Nunavut, Nunavik, Fairbanks, Juneau, Inuvik). Sports models would be whatever the hell I feel like.

TheHondaBro > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 22:16

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Anal Pilot

Anal Odyssey

ANAL CENTENARIO

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 22:16

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Well after September, all vehicles must pay homage to Lord Fuhrer Trump, so they will be Trump “engine displacement” Wall.

TheHondaBro > scoob 03/16/2016 at 22:18

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Scoob? More like Spoop amirite?

ranwhenparked > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 22:19

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Islands and other locations in and around the Caribbean. Aruba, Anguilla, Nassau, Montego, Miramar, Condado, Romana, Gorda, Montserrat, Gerona, Bermuda, Bimini, Largo, Corozal, Cayman, etc.

Some of them would work better than others, obviously. But I think you could find plenty of good-sounding names with this theme, many of which haven’t been used before. And the ones that have are not likely to still be trademarked.

Wobbles the Mind > TheHondaBro 03/16/2016 at 22:20

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Anal Huracan! Anal Diablo! I need these on the back of a jacket!! Someone needs to do a “best Anal” post. These are too good!

My citroen won't start > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 03/16/2016 at 22:20

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No Anal Probe. You have disappointed me.

scoob > TheHondaBro 03/16/2016 at 22:20

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no.

Wobbles the Mind > My citroen won't start 03/16/2016 at 22:23

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Anal Escort to go with that Probe?

ranwhenparked > DasWauto 03/16/2016 at 22:23

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Because they’ve conditioned generations of buyers into the “bigger number = more expensive, therefore better” mentality. Can’t go back on that now, just because fuel economy demands and modern technology are pushing smaller engines.

Malanga > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 22:24

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Someone NEEDS to make a best anal post!

I can't believe I just wrote that sentence...

pjhusa > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 03/16/2016 at 22:24

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wut

certified cool guy > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 22:32

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All start with S

Maybe Serene for a luxury sedan

Skirmish for an aggressive sports coupe

Suave for a compact premium hatchback

I don’t know what else to do

scoob > TheHondaBro 03/16/2016 at 22:35

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UMADIGOTMOARSTARZTHANUDID

Malanga > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 03/16/2016 at 22:39

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Anal Focus? Anal Cobra?

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > My citroen won't start 03/16/2016 at 22:43

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Add “V” for hairdresser cars.

DasWauto > ranwhenparked 03/16/2016 at 22:52

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I get it, but I don’t have to like it. IMO they should acknowledge the downsizing in the numbers and just accentuate the turbocharging in the badging to make up for it.

328i -> 320ti

335i -> 330ti

335i Touring -> 330tiT.

Truly a flawless plan.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > TheHondaBro 03/16/2016 at 22:59

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GM kind of already uses that though.

Nauraushaun > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 23:03

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I would use a bunch of completely random Italian words with no consistency whatsoever.

Oh wait Ferrari already did it

ranwhenparked > DasWauto 03/16/2016 at 23:12

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Oh, I agree. I understand why BMW does what they do, just don’t have to like it.

Teflexing > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 23:15

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7 for the coupe, 77 for the sedan, 777 for the suv, 7777 for the crossover, then 666 for the hybrid crossover

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 23:27

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100 - Subcompact car

200 - Compact car

300 - Subcompact Crossover

400 - Midsize car

500 - Compact crossover

700- Midsize crossover

Trim levels:

Base

City- midrange

Street - sports model

Lux - loaded

Separate AWD badge if necessary.

Examples:

200 Lux

400 City

500 Street AWD

700 AWD.

Amoore100 > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 23:29

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How I would rename the Volvo lineup:

S20, S40, S60, S80 - varying levels of sedan from CLA to S Class size

C20, C40, C60, C80 - coupes for the above sedans

CV20, CV40, CV60, CV80 - convertibles for above coupes

V30, V50, V70, V90 - corresponding wagon for each of the above sedans

SV30, SV50, SV70, SV90 - shooting brake of each above wagon

XC30, XC50, XC70, XC90 - corresponding SUV for above wagons

PV50, PV70 - a small and a midsized minivan/hatch a la Merc R Class

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If Saab were to come back, I’d do something similar:

9-1, 9-3, 9-5, 9-7 - varying levels of hatchback from CLA to S Class size, for coupe or convertible add ‘Sonnet’ name (no sedans because esotericness rules!)

9-2, 9-4, 9-6, 9-8 - varying levels of wagon for each hatch, for wagons add ‘Sportcombi’ moniker

9-2x, 9-4x, 9-6x, 9-8x - SUVs for each wagon so people will buy them

9-4 Combi, 9-6 Combi - small and midsized minivan similar to Volvo PV50/70

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This would be a naming convention very simple and easy for people to remember: vehicles with C pillars or fewer have a number one lower than corresponding vehicles with D pillars, and the alternate numbers indicate increasing rank. Even number sedans for Volvo, odd for Saab. No more of this S90-is-bigger-than-an-S60-but-there’s-no-S30-so-buy-a-V40 business.

The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 > Wobbles the Mind 03/16/2016 at 23:49

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Well the common thread for BMW is that they all mean nothing.

Hoccy > Wobbles the Mind 03/17/2016 at 03:28

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I would use Nordic fable creatures:

Small car: Bytting
Hatchback: Nissen
Midsize sedan/wagon/crossover: Nøkken
SUV: Troll
Good looking, expensive, unreliable sportscar: Huldra
Coupe: Draugen

BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires > Wobbles the Mind 03/17/2016 at 05:28

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Personally I love combinations of alphanumeric and proper nouns.

458 Italia, 3.0 Bavaria, Alfetta GTV.

I'd do it that way. Alphanumeric to denote specifications plus evocative name.